Stranded without sanity

Poor poor blog. I only seem to give it attention when I'm down in the dumps. I'm not feeling particularly cheerful but I'm  not too bad. This week Nathaniel has been sick, Emily has allergies, and Chloe, well she's just her usual bouncing off the wall self. On the way to the doctor Wednesday the van breaks down......the day after Christmas .....you've got to be kidding me!!!   Well we get it to a mechanic Thursday and within the hour he had called us back and told us what we had feared.....it was the transmission. However it was due to a recall. I immediately remembered a letter I had received several months back. Oops....but all is well and I hope to have it back soon as I don't like being stuck at home. Even if I prefer not to go anywhere ... I want the choice. Other than that, Christmas vacation has been great. Well I don't know if Emily would agree. She left an iPhone in her pants and yes I washed it (still works though!,!?!)   The day after Christmas she dropped and broke her tablet. Yes she did just get it the morning before.   OK so other than all that it has been great. Jeremy and I decided we would not do a single gift for each other this year. Well, Christmas eve night he hands me a small blue box. I'm immediately mad, but he assures me he only spent eight cents on it. So a little confused I open the box and pull out a homemade bracelet.  The pieces don't quite match and it has eight old  pennies dangling from it. Some from the eighties. I have to admit I didn't like it at first glance but while putting it on my wrist he shows me each penny. One for every significant event in our lives. Our birth years, year we began dating, got married and the birth of each child. It instantly became the most precious piece of jewelry I'd ever owned.  I couldn't believe he had done this. Jeremy is one of the worst gift givers. Just take my word for it!!! Well except for the year he bought me 85 dollar perfume, which he has been instructed to never ever do again!   At any rate I stuck to my end off the deal and got him nothing. I didn't know what to get that could compare even a little. Hard to believe how lucky, no how blessed I am.

I wish i had arms like that Hindu deity

It's amazing how i can be surrounded by so many people and feel as if I'm going at life alone.  I feel like i  can't keep up, like im drowning in homework,  housework,  feedings, dinners, diapers, lack of sleep, messes......i know  I am dealing with no more than any other wife or mother. But I'm not any other. I don't think I was cut out for this gig!  I don't know what I'm doing half the time and I am ashamed of my thoughts and actions. I need some help or some sleep. Sleep would be good too!