Saturday, February 2, 2013

On seeing the Tooth Fairy

I have been completely down with a bad tooth for weeks now, and everything has gotten way off course. It was already difficult for me to stay above water and now I’ve sank pretty far down. I am determined to get back to at least my normal kind of normal. My tooth or lack thereof is not completely healed but I’m definitely on the mending end. I’ve spent the last weeks loopy on pain killers and still in pain while trying to successfully complete a root canal. In the end only an extraction would begin the healing process. You know I think that may be true in other aspects of our lives. We try desperately to hold on and mend things that are broken. We try to put a cap on them and stop the decay when really these things are rotten and need to be extracted from our lives. I frequently read on a social site that “when things in life aren’t adding up, try subtracting.” Or very close to that anyway. And it’s true. Some relationships, people or jobs just cannot be repaired. The presence of this decay is only causing pain and confusion. I’ve sat here at seven am on a Saturday morning wanting terribly to have slept in but decided to do this anyway, wondering, why am I writing this? Is this some kind of subconscious message to myself? Is there something that I need extracted from my life? Maybe it’s myself. And I don’t mean that the way it may sound. I tend to trip over my own feet a lot. Let myself ruin a good thing. Or get in my own way and not get things done. Maybe I need to get rid of that person. I’ve been so foggy since having kids that tripping over my own feet seems to happen a lot. I put so much on my plate and I’m spread so thin that no matter where I am or who I’m with, parts of me are still left behind with the many many many chores I have. Maybe it’s not myself that needs extracting at all, but all the garbage I’ve put on my to-do list. My to-do list needs a good root canal!

1 comment:

  1. For me, I tend to shoulder a lot of burdens I was never meant to carry. Especially regrets from the past, and the lack of being perfect in the now. Daily I have to look at my to do list and my "what I think I should be" list and do a little unloading... :)

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