Weakness

I don’t know why I am so vulnerable.  I wish for once in my life I could be one of those women that could handle the hits and roll with the punches.   Even on my best days I am feel weak.  I feel inadequate.  I know being a mother can make you feel this way, I know that every mother grieves the loss of her confidence when she becomes the one to mold and shape a life.  But feeling this way day after day with every decision I make is taxing. I feel as though every move I make is wrong.  When I foolishly make a confident step, very much like walking in the dark, I quickly realize there is no step there and I am left with that sickening lunge forward.  And at once I realize my mistake and I am scared to step again.  The dark is frightening and I soon find myself standing still, petrified.  If you haven’t guessed, I am in one of “dark deep woods” moods.  I will never venture in of course, but the wood will forever remain lovely.